


a room in a hotel

by orphan_account



Category: Ylvis
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Or..., Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:33:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3200786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, their trips out of the country were always hectic and frustrating, and It was on one of these trips to the US, when everything snapped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if anyone has any expectations in my fics anymore bc i feel like they're just getting worse and worse, but i had an idea and im trying to get it out before it fades away. stay tuned for the rest.
> 
> this should have 2 or 3 (short) chapters, depending on how much i actually write

The trips to America always brought a sense of rush and stress with it. Having to constantly speak English – not their mother-tongue – rushing from one place to the next, and spending their nights in small shared hotel rooms filled them to the brim with an uneasy feeling. Bård was better at hiding how he felt, other than being particularly grumpy and snappy AND silent, however those three worked together, he played it well that he was not affected by the life on business trips. Vegard stressed a lot more. Their manager and third partner always told him to relax, but he always managed to work himself up, he was the one keeping track of things, had to make sure everything was in order and things were alright back in Norway, he got up earlier than everyone, making phone calls and looking at emails, checking up with people about scheduled arrangements. Upon the weight that Vegard put on himself, there were the unwelcome feelings he harboured for his brother. Some cruel fate had decided that Vegard should want his younger brother. Bitterly, he would look at Bård with a mixture of annoyance and love, and anger for his own feelings, for through the years these feelings hadn’t diminished, they had simply grown stronger, he loved him now more than ever.

It was on one of these hectic, stressed out one-sided-love filled trips to the US, when everything snapped.

A particularly bad day. They got up at the break of dawn to catch their flight and the trip lasted for hours, and once they got there, they learned that the first meeting had been cancelled, which meant the entire uncomfortable flight had been for nothing. Bård did in no way hide how pissed he was, either ignoring or biting back angry words at anyone who spoke to him. Vegard was the one who was the victim of his anger mostly, and although it wasn’t a horrible tantrum Bård was throwing, not lashing out and barking and blaming everything on him, Vegard took it very close. He too was tired and annoyed, and Bård going after him was the final straw; He soon found himself sat breathlessly in the bar of the hotel, a man behind the counter ready to serve.

It never took much to get Vegard intoxicated, he was much too drunk when he made his way back to the hotel room later. All that had gone through his mind the entire evening was what bård had said, called him, he wasn’t entirely sure why it had affected him so badly. The words weren’t shocking, and definitely not a result of Vegard’s secret feelings, but Vegard still convinced himself that “sick” and “gross” were words conjured because of his secret. At the bar he'd felt sorry for himself, for how unlucky he was that he loved someone so cruel and so close to him, but then he would smile and hiccup between words about how lovely bård was and how lucky he was that he'd found the one he loved in someone so close to him. then a solemn expression would drag across his face, and he emptied another glass. now, as he made his way back, he was mostly filled with sadness, although a dash of hope had come into him with the drinks he had had.

“You’re drunk.” Bård stated when Vegard came in, shutting the door after himself a bit too roughly. They shared a room with two single beds, a respectable distance apart, and Bård was sitting on one of them, the one closer to where Vegard stood. The light was dim in the room, only the light from the window, the lamps on the tables by the beds, and the fluorescent light drooping in from the bathroom gave it an odd view, and cast a strange shadow over Bård’s face. He didn’t get up, and Vegard didn’t move from the spot, his sight swimming and his legs feeling shaky.

He didn’t really consider what he said, his mind hadn’t really caught up with his mouth moving until he had plunged right into it, his drunken words stumbling, and most of the sentence had already been forgotten as he talked. “—i’m sick and gross but i love you-“ He looked at the floor with his eyebrows raised and shaking his head slowly. His eyes were firmly set on a crack in the wooden floor. “more thank I can, more than-“

“No.” It was so quiet, that it fell on deaf ears, and Vegard continued mumbling. 

“—for years I’ve wanted- i just- it’s so unfair I-“

“No. Don’t you fucking dare,” Bård was harsher this time, getting on his feet. His blue eyes, that of them which wasn’t shrouded in the dark, were filled with a cold anger, a gaze that would have stung it’s target if Vegard wasn’t so dulled by alcohol.

Vegard slowly realised Bård’s response, attempting a step forward as he pleaded. “I couldn’t keep it in anymore, I had to tell you that I-“

Vegard never got a chance to finish his drunken admission, and the words Bård had hissed at him rang in his ears long after he had stormed out, and Vegard had tipped over into the nearest bed: “Shut up. Just shut the fuck up, I don’t want to hear another word.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaay i wrote mooore
> 
> i dont know, man, just read it idek

Vegard woke up the day after with a headache and a heavy feeling in his gut. His first conscious thought was how loudly Bård slammed the door, and then all was silent. He lay in bed for an hour longer, just staring ahead and trying to sort out the hangover he was suffering from.

He remembered. All too well, he remembered the foolish things he had said, the twisted, distorted idea of what had happened, maybe in his memory, Bård was a bit rougher than he had actually been, maybe Vegard didn’t confess everything- he tried to convince himself, but he still remembered what he’d said, the words tasting bitterly in his dry mouth.  
When he finally came up and got out of the room, having to meet with the rest of his group, he and Bård avoided each other with excellency, like a professional dance, they passed by each other without effort and avoided each others gaze, and exchanging of words were limited to none. At least from Bård. 

Surely it wasn’t fair, Vegard had only told the truth, to him, looking at Bård, was like looking at the sun, it’d blind you and it would hurt, yet the curiosity and the admiration of it edged you on, which was exactly what was happening. He couldn’t resist, the way Bård would smile, his eyes lighting up, or even the tight expression he carried as a constant all day, it was beautiful, and it twisted Vegard inside and outside.

Eventually, no matter how hard one tries, collisions will happen. Theirs was out in the hotel hall, as Bård left the men’s room and Vegard approached it. Vegard was heading straight for him, planning to leap in head first like the evening prior, and he could see how Bård’s eyes became cold, his mouth became a thin line and he noticed the faintest trace of a shake of the head.

Bård stopped, although he wanted to leave, his blue eyes looking through Vegard, yet he stood still, arms crossed, biting his lip, Vegard noticed. He had prepared what he wanted to say, but now that he could, his mind went blank. All he could think of was Bård’s eyes. They were distant, avoiding him, so different than how they used to be. He liked to believe Bård had looked at him with love, and the absence of that now, made him feel cold to the bone, as the pale blue eyes swept aimlessly over him and looked somewhere that wasn’t at Vegard.

“I’ve got to get back, Vegard, if you need to..” Bård spoke as he looked at the floor, after a long silence that dragged out, and attempted to push his way past Vegard, who stood his ground and grabbed his brothers arm, stopping him. 

“Sorry.” The moment the word slipped out, he wanted to hit himself. Since when had communication between them been so bad, he cursed himself, and had it not been for the seriousness of the moment, he would have joylessly snickered, at how he was acting like a teenager in love.

He felt that Bård attempted to pull out of his grip, and tightened it, holding him in place. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep it in, alright? I’m fucking sorry,”

“Sorry’s not enough Vegard-“ Bård’s voice shook as he roughly yanked himself free. He looked back at Vegard, and finally there was some life in his eyes. Fire, they were furious. “You need to shut up about it and never bring it up again!”

Instead of leaving, he stayed, again. Vegard could sence his judgement, like a heavy burden on his shoulders came Bård’s verdict, his words stinging.  
“What we have- it’s not worth /that/, our lives- our careers, hell our relationship as it is, why would you want to ruin that?”

Vegard wanted to protest, to argue that nothing would be ruined, it would be better, but stayed silent. He kept his eyes down when Bård turned and left quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeaa its the last one

The evening in their room was filled with tension, the moment Vegard stepped in and made his presence known, Bård continued their little dance of avoidance. When the taller brunette didn’t talk or even look at him, Vegard locked himself in the bathroom. A hot shower never hurt, and it let him waste some time until they would leave the day after.

When he stepped out again, having changed into slacks and a t-shirt, he came into the bedroom again, the music on the radio playing rather loudly. He didn’t really spot Bård right away, not until he saw an upturned bottle of alcohol that was foreign to him, did he notice that Bård was sitting on the floor, between the two beds, leaning his back on his own. 

A bitter expression washed over his brothers face, if it was from seeing Vegard or from the alcohol he was chugging, Vegard didn’t know, but he knew it could be both. 

“Why,” Vegard barely heard, if it wasn’t for Bårds questioning expression, he wouldn’t have noticed at all. Quickly, he crossed the floor and turned down the music.

“what?” 

“Why?” Bård repeated. “Honestly, what did you expect? Huh? How do you think i would react?”

Vegard sighed. At this point, he was definitely regretting what he’d done when he was drunk, because it only hurt, watching Bård carry that look of repressed disgust, and now his questions that were filled with judgement.

“i don’t know...” Vegard’s silence was long. “I guess.. I thought-“

“I’d leap into your arms and we’d live happily ever after?”

A silence followed again. Vegard wished for such an end, the fairytale ending, where everything would work out, where Vegard would get what he wanted, where Bård would want him. It was an unreachable quest, a desire he was smarter than, yet didn’t fight.

“You know what you have to do,” Bård’s eyes followed Vegard as Vegard- barefoot – walked towards him and sat next to him. Vegard’s heart beat quickly in his chest, the mere thought of how he’d sat down next to him made him too excited, too afraid. 

“don’t talk about it, ever, forget about it,”

Vegard nodded silently, as Bård took another swig of the bottle. It was odd, how Bård handled it. How well he seemed to know it, his wet his eyes suddenly seemed up close.  
“but-“ Vegard looked at him now, noticed how bård smiled unhappily when he put down the bottle.

“or just lock it away deep inside, it’s hard, I know, but it’s what’s right.” Bård shrugged and shook his head. “you have a family, I have a family, kids, I- you can’t. It’s what’s right.” Bård repeated again, his voice more gathered now.

“I don’t want what’s right.” Vegard spoke slowly, the words processing in his own mind, and clearly bård’s too, as they slip out. He looked at Vegard, his eyes softer now, yet his mouth dragging down sadly.

“And I thought you were supposed to be the clever one.” Bård said bitterly, wanting to reach for the bottle, but never picking it up. He just held it, and its silent in the room.

Vegard looked away from his brothers face, looked at his hand, the slender fingers wrapped gently around the bottle neck, the tendons in it relaxed under the soft smooth skin. Without much thought, he reached out and took Bård’s hand from the bottle, holding his little brothers relaxed hand in his own.

“I don’t need this.” Bård said almost silently, as Vegard slotted his fingers between Bård’s. He too looked at their hands, he inhaled sharply as Vegard sat a little closer, their sides now pressed together. “Vegard.“ Bård said quietly, as if warning him.

Vegard was sure he saw it now, that he wasn’t alone in this, he looked at Bård’s face and was met by a confusion of feelings, Bård’s eyes clear and breath shakily let out through his dry, parted lips.

“I’m sorry.” Vegard just said. What was he apologizing for? He wasn’t sure, he just felt that he needed to, even if he didn’t feel guilty for anything he’d done. The words had an affect anyway, Bård, moments later, held Vegard’s hand even tighter in his own.

“Why did it take you so fucking long.” It was never disgust, vegard had seen in his brothers face, how could he have been so blind?


End file.
